A fox is a wolf who sends flowers. – Ruth Brown

Ruth Brown

Every performer, every compere, and probably most audience members, understands the importance of a good introduction.

 Often when we talk about comperes we rehash the basics –

• Warm up the audience and explain what is expected of them

• Heckling and how to deal with it

• Honing of extra skills in order to fill the time whilst the stage is be dressed/props set, etc – such as comedy, magic or singing.

Sometimes it is touched upon that the way an act is introduced can, on occasion, help or hinder that act and performer. But all too often the onus is put solely on the compere.

Introducing a Performer – a two way relationship

I’ve been a performer for several years, and during that time I have also compered, and I have produced shows – as such there are lots of acts that I have come across. Some need no introduction at all, their entirety is represented on the stage, and others need elaborate scene setting. I strongly feel, as a performer, that an act should be introduced as requested most especially if that introduction is a necessary set up for the act. But as a compere, I know how unrealistic this can often be. Sometimes you are not given the performer and act information until the night of the show, at which point memorising isn’t likely and reading off a card can seem unprofessional (and impossible in certain lighting).

Creative solutions are not always the safest or most practical on stage!

There are acts where the right introduction is necessary in terms of set up, and so. If that is the case,  I would recommend no more than a sentence of explanation (anymore and it will potentially chopped about or parts forgotten). The fact is, you’re not the only performer they are introducing, there is a lot going on. Consider making your introduction short and punchy, break it down to the basics if you need to rely on it to set up your act.

 For example, my Go Ape! act (based on Planet of the Apes) can be lost on the audience if the introduction is missed, and so I’ve broken it down to be as simple as possible. All I need is for the compere to drop into the introduction that it is based on a Sci-fi classic. This will hopefully clue the audience in enough to get what’s going on when I’m up on stage. What I don’t want is any mention of the “ape” aspect as this is the first reveal.

Tiger Going Ape… (C) David Hammonds

The vast majority of times I have performed this routine, I have had amazing introductions – my favourite being from comedian Wil Hodgson who really played off the sci-fi angle and pepped up the evidently super nerdy audience. I got an amazing audience reaction to the routine, which I feel would not have been half as good had it not been introduced so well. I know this, because my worst introduction to this routine was at an event with a largely non-burlesque audience where my act was introduced as “here is Tiger Tiger with Go Ape!”. The audience had not been introduced to me as a performer, or to my act. As such the audience were incredibly confused – why was I dressed as an ape and where is the Tiger? What was going on? A few of them got the reference once I revealed my photo of Cornelius (main character from Planet of the Apes), but even so it was largely lost on them.

Tiger Gone Ape… (C) James Brown

That kind of introduction and audience reaction can be incredibly hard for a performer. Because then the onus is wholly on the performer to convey their act. Some would argue that this is how it should be – the act should be complemented by the introduction not reliant on it. Personally, I believe there is a fine line – not being assisted by the introduction would mean either having to include some sort of intro seamlessly in the act (which is not always possible, otherwise we’d have already done it!); include some sort of representative prop in the act (where possible – for some acts this might ruin a reveal); or curtail our creativity and stick to acts that are wholly self-contained.

So yes, this is a two way relationship, that I honestly feel is best understood by comperes who do or have also performed, or who are well seasoned and have come to understand this from their experiences. The way you introduce the act can make or break the act itself and the audiences understanding and reaction to it.

Performers, please appreciate the restrictions of the compere. They may have a time restriction, they certainly have memory restrictions, and few are happy to read word for word a paragraph on a card even if there aren’t the usual restrictions of stage lighting. If you are noticing that an act is time and again being introduced with difficulty – bits are being left out, mixed up or said wrong – then consider it might be the introduction that needs revising. Work out the parts that are the most important, and give only this information to the compere. It is tempting to say “well if you can say X, Y and Z, that’s great, but if not, just say Z”. The risk is that the compere will introduce just Y and make no sense at all. Not because they are incompetent, but because they are one of the few people (along with stage managers/hands, and sound techs) who are working the WHOLE of that show. They are busy, they have lots of acts to introduce, and they are on stage that whole time – they have a lot of pressure on them – to keep the show flowing and be constantly and consistently entertaining. The vast majority of comperes want to do the best by you, but you have to help them make that possible. Be realistic, and hone it all down to the basics, give them the most exact information you can – they know what they’re doing and will give you an awesome intro!

Getting an introduction correct can be essential!

Introducing burlesque – it’s all about respect

I leave this to last as it is arguably the more important point.

All shows begin, as we well know, with a brief outline of what the audience can expect to see at the show. This is where we warm up the audience and teach them what is expected of them – clapping, cheering, whooping, etc. It has long been standard to expect something along the lines of “the more you cheer the more they take off”.

This is something I really have a problem with.

Firstly, it’s not true.

What he said!

Can you imagine a show where the audience don’t give you the reaction you want so you just leave that article on? Finish the show with one glove still on and your bra just unhooked at the back? I didn’t think so.

This style of introduction has often stirred up feminist arguments as well, because, more oft than not, comperes are male. So a man introducing a performer thusly (the majority of whom are female), feels wrong. It can also be a bit weird for potential cabaret acts of the show, who have no plans to undress whatsoever and so are being missed in this introduction.

As a compere though, and perhaps especially for male comperes (?), it can be difficult to know how to introduce burlesque to an audience, especially when you are so used to seeing the above at every show you go to. It takes time to consider how else it can be done. Some comperes, in my experience women, gloss over the cause and effect option of the introduction, but even so struggle to find the incentive for the audience to cheer us on – because there has to be an incentive? Maybe that’s a question for another day.

The worst introduction I have ever heard was for a show that I performed at a few years ago, where myself and the two other burlesque performers at a band night were introduced repeatedly and offensively in a lurid and husky tone as “Dirty Girls”, the compere’s grin twisted in lust, with actual lip licking occurring. Not surprising then that one or two members of the audience felt it was perfectly appropriate to come into the performance space and try to accost us “dirty girls” during our acts.

Perhaps you were expecting something else?

This example highlights something that needs addressing in the burlesque world. Although this is the extreme, it serves to show that even with the most honourable intentions, many introductions lack respect for the performers and their art – the fact that they are rather beautifully sharing their bodies with the audience. They are giving the audience a privilege that they have chosen to bestow, they are not there for the audiences pleasure. Now, I do agree (to some extent) with the many posts and articles out there regarding the performers duty to entertain the audience – but the key there is to entertain. If a performer chooses to entertain by performing a striptease, that should be respected. It should not be reduced to a mummery – a puppet show where our actions are dictated by the whim of the audience. On a deeper level, it takes away our identities as performers and reduces our art.

So then, on the flip side how do we tackle this? For this I give examples of two comperes I have had the pleasure of working with. Firstly, the introduction given by the quite wonderful Vivacity Bliss in which she very comedically explained to the audience that the “the more you cheer the more they take off” line is complete lie. Moreover the rather fabulous Rubyyy Jones, who at our Bristol Burlesque Festival, gave what can only be described as the most entertaining feminist rant ever created. With skill and hilarity, she took it that step further and explained why we shouldn’t expect more clothes to drop the more we cheer, that this is an art that we all work very hard at,  and that in reality the audience is there to cheer us on and support our art. Introductions like this are so important in charging the perception audiences are given of what a burlesque show is. Changing it from that mummery to a glorious work of art that they have been welcomed to enjoy.

We need more of these introductions, we need to flush out the “cheer for more” attitude. We need this because not only was that introduction inspiring it was, quite simply, correct.

The fabulous Rubyyy Jones at the Bristol Burlesque Festival (C) Michael Goes Click

I’ve dedicated my career to fighting the mundane. My hope is that my career will be a shining example to children everywhere that life is more meaningful when you are not afraid to see all colours of the rainbow. – RuPaul

RuPaul

The producers of the Bristol Burlesque Festival bring you A COOCHIE CRUNCH CHRISTMAS.
Join us for some badass and occasionally festive shenanigans as we once again take over the theatre at the wonderful Smoke and Mirrors The UK’s Only Boutique Magic Theatre Pub!

A CoochieCrunch Christmas

Doors 8pm
Show 9pm – 10pm
10pm onwards, party with us!!

Tickets – £8 adv  / £10 on the door

Prepare yourself for the awesome talents of:

Your host – Dis Charge

Dis Charge (c) Michael Goes CLICK https://www.facebook.com/MichaelGoesClick

Performances from -
Kitty Kane

Kitty Kane (c) Michael Goes CLICK

Tuesday Laveau

Tuesday Laveau (c) Michael Goes CLICK

Tiger Tiger

Tiger Tiger

Ally Katte

Ally Katte

Machete Rose

Machete Rose

Angelique Dominique

Angelique Dominique

Ivana Van der Fluf

 Ivana Van Der Fluf

We’ll see you there!

I want to say a little something that’s long overdue. The disrespect to women has got to be through. To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends. I want to offer my love and respect to the end. – MCA

MCA

Welcome to Things We Like. These are products that we at CoochieCrunch enjoy using and want to share with you. Nobody has been paid for these reviews, nor are we responsible if this product doesn’t work for you.

I had been looking for a new way to add some shimmer to my stage make-up. I’m kind of a glitter monster, I’ve had success using glitter liquid eyeliner to either line my eyes or as a shadow, but I felt that my make-up kit needed a fresh sparkle injection for the festive season.

E.L.F (Eyes. Lips. Face) Cosmetics had come to my attention a few times through recommendations from MUA’s and other performers. Their prices are incredibly reasonable and they are an ethical company who don’t test on animals or use animal derived ingredients in their products.

So I checked out their website and I found this:

The E.L.F. Shimmer Palette (c) Tuesday Laveau

The E.L.F. Shimmer Palette! It looked like exactly what I wanted, a shimmering, but not glitter, cream. I ordered it, but at £3.75, I wasn’t expecting a whole lot. Then it arrived. A tidily packaged matt black compact, with mirror, applicator brush and four shades of shimmer cream ranging from Champagne to Blush.

I applied one of the lighter colours from eye crease to brow and set it with a matching eyeshadow, followed by my usual routine of eyeliner, mascara and lashes. It looked awesome and really highlighted my brow bone beautifully. It lasted through me teaching a dance class and didn’t smudge or fade. The only thing was that with the product having a greasy texture, I couldn’t apply liquid eyeliner over the top of it. But that’s a pretty easy problem to fix, just don’t put it where you apply your eyeliner, duh.

So if you’re looking for shimmering alternative to glitter, try out the E.L.F. Shimmer Palette.

Stripper case all organised. Pretty! (c) Tuesday Laveau

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. – George Carlin

Make-up tricks and tips from the immaculately spooky Dis Charge.

There comes a point in everyone’s life when they realise that to succeed and to thrive in the worlds of business and even in pleasure, one must indeed, dress the part. An armani suit here, a Vivienne Westwood Basque there and voila! The perfect silhouette achieved. Nothing unfortunately is quite that simple. Clothes may maketh the WOman but nothing screams glamour and success in quite the same way as immaculate maquillage. I’m talking about beating face here people, about the artistic application of strategic cosmetic enhancing products. Of slapping that shit on like warpaint before some corporate whore steps raggedly on our words and steals away our moneys honey!

In this tutorial I plan to open wide my beauty book secrets for you all. Look on in wonder, suckle at my pendulous teat and drink the heady cocktail of liquid eyeliner mineral powder that doth FLOW.

Unshaven! (c) Dis Charge

Step 1: Smooth Surface

For me this is very important though there is an exception to every rule. I prefer to start completely clean shaven but a bearded lady is a sexy sight so this one, feel free to skip…

Clean Shaven! (c) Dis Charge

Step 2:  Cover Your Brows!!

Nobody wants natural eyebrows, I certainly don’t! Why be natural when you can be supernatural, and if you can’t shave them off completely then why not hide your shame like a government would; heap a pile of crap over it and paint on top in pretty colours so that no one suspects a thing.

Taking and alcohol wipe, run over your brows and give them a deep clean. This will remove pesky oils that we just don’t need. Once this is done, take a clean mascara brush (you can buy them cheap and easy – like me – from Wilkos) and brush the hairs against the grain and upwards. I then dip the same brush into spirit gum and completely comb this through making them sticky and hard (that’s right, you heard me). Pat them down flat against your forehead with a sponge applicator of a large velour makeup pad.

Padding over eyebrows (c) Dis Charge

Repeat this step four times allowing for drying time in between. Make sure they are stuck down real good.

Hard & Sticky. (c) Dis Charge

Now that you’ve covered your brows with spirit gum, it’s time to pile even more shit on your face! This time a heavy ass craft glue or wax by kryolan such as Brow Plastic works well. If you’re using a glue I’d suggest one of the white ones that come quite cheaply and are water soluble. Take a butter knife or craft spatula and scrape a small slab off the side then paste it all over your brows to make then completely smoothe. Once this is done pile on a bunch of white powder to ensure no darkness from the brows remains. I will cover again with spirit gum at this point and powder over this to seal these final layers. Nobody said that beauty was easy!!

Block your eyebrows out. (c) Dis Charge

Step 3 : Camouflage!

Take your simple neutral shade foundation, I prefer a panstick in clown white or TV white by Kryolan, and smother your skin. Get into every crack and crevice, if you’re like me and developing ravines, this may take a little while. You can see in the below image how flawless I make my base and how soft and glowing I appear, at this stage, even though I haven’t got brows, I look like a young Lana Turner.

Blank Face (c) Dis Charge

Seal with a complimenting pressed powder or if you prefer, continue on with contouring using cream shadows.

Step 4: Eyes

I spend a great deal of attention to my eyes because, its true, they are the window to the soul. It goes without saying of course, that I am a soulless bitch, so it’s far better for me to appear colourful and sweet, leading to my infamous candy bright eyes.

Candy Bright Eyes (c) Dis Charge

I use a cream shadow to cover the main lid and then trace in the new crease line incorporating the old and… Expanding on it, to create a larger eye shape… Bigger is better after all! Once this has been applied (here, I used a yellow and green) and then set and blend these using high pigment powders to soften and define the eye. I also draw a striking cats eye flick to line the upper lid and elongate the shape.

Brows come next. I suggest pointy and harsh or none at all if you like. Of course creativity is key here, why not use dots of colour instead of a solid brow shape or maybe stick feathers or crystals on instead, hell you can even use baking foil if you want…

Astro Dis Charge (c) Dis Charge

Step 5 : Contouring

Pesky cheekbones like mine are always getting lost in the wasteland of my face, the same could be send for my jawline, so let’s get creative shall we?

Who needs boring beige when scarlet or magenta are to hand?! Carve those features back in and let’s see the drama unfurl shall we… Start with some electric zygomatics! Then, on to the jawline. So many women are unaware of their tide lines, allowing for pale necks that contrast horribly with orange faces, I whole heartedly embrace the inverse, let’s face it, it makes us all look that little bit slimmer and everyone is instantly fooled. Presto change-o, bang go a hundred pounds…

Full Face (c) Dis Charge

You are now ready, spray a whole bunch of hairspray on it, stick a wig on it and get changed… A la liquid silver, you should look, a little like this…

Glorious, Glorious Dis Charge (c) Michael Goes Click

Season’s Greeting from CoochieCrunch & Dis Charge!

All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary. – Sally Ride

Sally Ride

CoochieCrunch’s favourite petite bombshell Oh! Carolina shares her 2013 BurlyCon diary.

Earlier this year I was awarded a scholarship from the BurlyCon Committee to attend the 2013 BurlyCon conference in Seattle, Washington. Tuesday asked if I would keep a diary of my experiences for CoochieCrunch – here it is!

To get to BurlyCon I had to travel twenty-four hours non-stop, there’s burly dedication for you! Needless to say, I arrived at Seatac Airport Wednesday evening feeling very jet-lagged, as well as a little floored by some lurgy I had contracted on the plane somewhere over the Atlantic. When I finally arrived at the Doubletree Hilton Hotel where the conference was being held, and after meeting two of my roomies, Vayda Rhinestone and Bella Le Blanc, it was straight to bed!

Thursday

Despite being ill and jet-lagged, I immediately threw myself into a day of full-on dance classes…of course. First up was ‘Floorwork’ with Peekaboo Pointe, followed by ‘Bump & Grind’ with Kitten de Ville. We had a good overview of the basics and some hard-core squatting! A good piece of advice gained, ‘Your body should move like water, let the body move how it wants to’. Oh yah, here’s a photo of Kitten and me:

Oh! Carolina & Burlesque Legend Kitten De Ville (c) Oh Carolina

I’m amazed we managed to fit in the same frame, seeing as she is such an Amazonian goddess and I am a hobbit.

Here’s Kitten doing her thing:

Kitten De Ville teaches a class at BurlyCon 2013 (c) Oh Carolina

After that it was back to Peekaboo Pointe for Burlesque Booty, where I finally learnt what twerking was (I don’t watch much TV). I discovered it was what I had been doing for years, prancing around to dancehall music with my mates.

After classes had finished for the day, we had dinner and then we were off to the Vintage Meet & Greet, where I felt quite tipsy on one glass of champagne (I am blaming the jet-lag). My look for the evening was Russian heiress meets snow queen:

Snow Queen/Russian Heiress Oh! Carolina (c) Oh Carolina

Friday

Friday started with a very welcome morning yoga session (as a yoga teacher I always appreciate the opportunity to just go to a class and be told what to do for once!). Then to breakfast, which was biscuits and gravy – an interesting new experience. It was…alright actually.

But no time to sit around having dinner for breakfast! My first workshop of the day was Amber Ray‘s ‘Costume Courting’. This was just – amazing. I picked up so many costuming secrets which I am never going to divulge to any of you – mwah ha ha! Plus we got to have a look at her fabulous costumes close-up:

Amber Ray’s Costumes! (c) Oh Carolina

After lunch were the keynote speeches, including one from Wild Cherry, who was this year’s ‘Living Legend’ special guest, and a feisty lady by all accounts.

Burlesque Legend Wild Cherry speaks at BurlyCon 2013 (c) Oh Carolina

Next up was a workshop on ‘Entrances and Exits’ with Sydni Deveraux, a very amusing burlesqueteer! She is also another Amazonian goddess (rest assured, I was still a hobbit). This was again a workshop full of great hints and tips.

After taking a boa workshop with Coco Lectric and a ‘Connecting with your Audience’ workshop with Darlinda Just Darlinda, the jet-lag (did I mention that?) and my cold/flu started to catch up with me, and I bowed out of the last class. I managed to watch a couple of peer reviews (these happened every night and I saw some awesomely inventive and inspiring acts) before going for a ‘quick nap’. I woke up at midnight having missed the main social event of the weekend – Burlyprom. Shit.

Saturday

A new day! I’d finally had some sleep and was raring to go. So where better else to start than a full-on go-go class with Burgundy Brixx? Once I was suitably knackered again, I refuelled at breakfast and followed this with a fan workshop with Michelle L’Amour. A good tip from Michelle which I shall pass on – don’t wear lipgloss with feather fans or boas!

Next was ‘Acrobatic Floorwork’ with Miranda Tempest, followed by ‘Tango Cabaret Chair Dance’ with Ruby Joule. Then the much anticipated-by-me workshop with Jo Weldon on ‘Assels and Tassels’. This was just brill, and that Ms Weldon is a mighty fine lookin’ lady.

To finish the day, I went to a lecture on ‘Illuminating Costumes’. Some of you may know that I already have an illuminated costume for my ‘Aurora’ act, and after returning to the UK, using the knowledge I gained from this workshop, I managed to successfully re-wire part of it all by myself. Score!

Sunday

First up was ‘Gloves, Arms and Hands’ with Joe Williams. This man is just a genius – that’s all I can say. If you haven’t heard of him look him and his work up at the ‘The Delsarte Project‘. People left this workshop actually stunned into silence, and it made me wish I had attended his earlier class on using props.

So before I run through the last of the workshops I attended I must say that, by this last day, I was starting to panic. So many great opportunities and it was nearly all over! I felt an irrational need to do so much more in these last few hours than was humanly possible, and as a result I probably did less than I could have done, as I was too busy impersonating a headless chicken. I’d previously carefully planned out my schedule, but this all was now thrown to the wind and I found myself in unexpected places I never intended to be.

One of these was Legs Malone‘s workshop on ‘Healing your Relationship with your Body‘. I have always been pretty body-confident but of course I have little niggles about certain parts of me, like most people do. And when they locked the doors and I realised I was surrounded by open-and-comfortable-with-discussing-their-issues American types, my British reserve went into overdrive. I was filled with impending doom at the thought that I would be required to ‘share’. However, I DID share (a bit), and it wasn’t so bad. I even discovered a like-minded soul who turned out to be a ‘scar-sister’, and between us we managed to vocalise exactly what it was that bugged us about these scars so much. A great day for personal development. Nevertheless they finally unlocked those doors and I was out like a shot, and randomly headed to ‘Comedy and Burlesque’ and ‘Why are you Naked?’ workshops.

Then it was over.

On our last evening a group of us headed downtown for food and gay bar visiting.

Bar crawling at BurlyCon (c) Oh Carolina

And found a photobooth.

Photobooth! (c) Oh Carolina

For every workshop I attended, there were about two or three more which I would have liked to have gone to. Although I learnt so much and came away with my brain working overtime, processing new ideas and avenues of investigation, I felt I had missed out on so much more. Those who live closer and are able to attend every year are very lucky, they have such a valuable resource to hand. I’m so glad I had the opportunity to go and I learnt so much. Whether you are a newcomer or a seasoned professional, if you get the chance to go to BurlyCon, DO IT!

Postscript

After BurlyCon I took a few days to visit friends in Oregon before heading back to Seattle for my flight. I got straight off the train and met up with my BurlyCon roomie Vince V. Vice at the Atomic Bombshell‘s show ‘Lost in Space!’

Here we are, next to an empty fish tank:

Oh! Carolina & Vince V. Vice. And an empty fish tank. (c) Oh Carolina

This show was the perfect end to my Seattle trip; it was a high production-value, full-on Burlesque extravaganza featuring amongst others, Indigo Blue, Inga Ingenue, Waxie Moon, Paris and Trojan Original and Lily Verlaine. The whole show was stunning and captured the 1950s/60s space exploration era perfectly. I have to say though that Paris Original’s dancing was exquisite, and every time he was on stage my attention was drawn to him.

And afterwards we chatted to the cast. Oh yah, here’s a photo of Indigo Blue and me:

Oh! Carolina & Indigo Blue (c) Oh Carolina

The next morning it was time to go home. Exhausted and happy, I endured once more the twenty-four hours of travel time followed by jet-lagged near-coma (did I mention the jet-lag at all?) I’d do it all again in a heartbeat though.

Oh! Carolina

I know I always say my occupation is not dancing, but dancing is in my heart, dancing makes me feel good. – Lil Kim

Lil Kim

Me, sexy? I’m just plain ol’ beans and rice. – Pam Grier

Pam Grier

Dis Charge shares some thoughts on Drag Linguistics.

With the recent and stratospheric rise of drag culture, the mainstream as well as gay and alternative strands of society, have bore witness to an astonishing increase in the popularity of terminology specific to ball and drag culture. I have lost count as to how many times I have overheard men and women throwing around terms such as ‘Shade‘ or ‘Realness‘, been asked if my comments regarding someone’s image or character could be described as a ‘Read’ and of course, the perennial favourite; ‘THE LIBRARY IS OPEN DAWWLINGS!’

Dis Charge (c) Micheal Goes CLICK https://www.facebook.com/MichaelGoesClick

It is extremely exciting in many ways. The increase in profitability and the sheer number of new recruits to the culture and its power to provide strong and highly visible images of outsider culture newly positioned within the overarching mainstream is astonishing. The queens have returned to seize the throne as it were, asserting their dominance again over a too often heard and negatively impacting category of, ‘straight-acting’ models of behaviour popularised in the late nineties/early noughties. News flash honey, if you have to ‘ACT’ straight, then you fucking aren’t.

Whilst there are many fantastic benefits to this re-positioning and appropriation of the culture, there has also been an increase in a very specific and damaging category that relates to the language used to describe and interpret femininity. The category is… FISH.

As someone who has always appreciated ‘Outsider’ or ‘Terrorist’ drag aesthetics such as those exhibited by Vaginal Davis, Leigh Bowery or Squeaky Blonde, I came at the drag scene initially contrasting a highly developed character of grotesque excess that was clearly masculine whilst donning a ‘feminine’ aesthetic.

Squeaky Blonde (c) Austin Young

I was a terrible chanteuse who ridiculed a staple of french art cinema, it was a parody of what was expected of myself and a method for me to perform an image that was aimed as an attack at mainstream celebrity culture. Ultimately this image was too all consuming and detrimental to my involvement with the alt. queer scene who (before RuPaul had fully come back into vogue) had me become the focus of aggressive anti-drag rhetoric, but that’s another story…

I took time away to reformulate my stance and continued to DJ with the Psycho:Drama family (who were always supportive) before returning with my latest creation… Dis Charge. An amalgamation of tranimal and terrorist drag aesthetics, inspired by my heroes/heroines and by the punk and goth scenes that I love so much. Miss Dis provided me with a malleable and at times A-Gendered image, offering an escape from the traditional references of gay male and drag culture that, whilst I appreciate, held little interest to me.

Psycho:Drama (c) Tuesday Laveau

The reason I dislike/d these images was not because they didnt carry a mastery of makeup technique or offer an interesting interpretation of womanly archetypes within culture, though I do resent the constant need to ape images of fascile and uninteresting celebrity consumerism without any critical lense, but because of the language that was so readily associated with these archetypes.

‘Serving Fish’, is inherantly misogynistic. There, I said it. There is passing evidence for this lexis to be considered an evocative attempt to mimic the full lips and large eyes of a cartoon goldfish as referenced by performers and artists such as Mathu Andersen, but let’s face it, what I’m hearing you really say is; ‘I look so real you can practically smell my cunt.’  I would love to be proved wrong here, but the mock horror that so many drag queens present when they encounter a vaginal image is so brutally aggressive, that it speaks of another cultural perception – that a woman’s body is somehow instantly dirty.

We’ve all heard the school yard jibes, vaginas are gross blah blah blah they smell like FISH (?!) blah blah blah. This playground bullying stems DIRECTLY from a consistant effort to force young men into relegating women into a weakened position and for women to instantaneously feel shamed, thereby adopting said position and remaining – you guessed it – in subservience. Often, these young men don’t know where these assumptions come from (after all, most gay men haven’t been near a vagina since birth!) and certainly we have all been, at some point, guilty of this, either by being complicit in this behaviour or by not speaking out against it. It’s all about the way in which men AND women (because i’ve heard enough women use this terminology) view their bodies and how we are educated into accepting an image of grotesquerie that plays into the divisions between images of gender and sexuality, that have been set in place to keep us from talking and to keep us from advancing.

The ‘Fishy’ archetype smells fucking rotten and drag culture is being co-opted by people who want to make it a tool for lazy discrimination. Do not be fooled.

Fish.

The language is wrong, the culture is slowly being deformed and soon, the divisions could be insurmountable. They don’t have to be however. Relegating the terminologies that are ultimately harmful to a mute standpoint or by subverting them in a positive manner is the way forward. I do not want to hear another queen ask if I want to ‘Serve Fish’. No I fucking don’t because guess what, I don’t want to slap my friends in the face.

When I see a glamourous or monstrous drag queen perform, I think, ‘Wow! How elegant/refined/beautiful/masterful/powerful they seem!’ THIS, is the legacy of great drag! To embody an image of transformative power. I thought the same when I first saw images of Divine and Squeaky and also, when I saw pictures and performances of Diamanda Galas, Kathleen Hanna, Kat Bjelland or Nomy Lamm.

Kat Bjelland

The idea should not be to parrot, mimic or simply present a 2-dimensional representation of a mass-marketed vision of femininity – how fucking dull. If I wanted to be like a Kardashian I’d have had a lobotomy. I want to see something powerful that transcends and embodies all of the best things about life and aesthetics. I want to see true beauty, and to strive towards it. The last thing I want on my menu is an out-dated, out moded and wholly offensive attack on my sisters – Thank you very much.

Machete Rose discusses the Big Reveal.

Burlesque – we all think we know it.  The problem with its fairly recent dizzying heights in popularity within the greater public, is that it’s more common for people to assume it’s easy to jump on the bandwagon and create burlesque simply with a paint-by-numbers style of concoction.

Step 1) enter stage

Step 2) remove costume

Step 3) boobs

So the true ideals, inspirations and creativities behind burlesque get diluted into a depressing copy-and-paste definition.

Burlesque by numbers. (c) Drawesome Illustration

I think this is why I’ve been met with certain amounts of confusion when some people try to understand what it is I do.  An illustration of this came to me when chatting to a man who had only grasped burlesque as ‘posh stripping’.  He asked my performer name – obligingly I told him I was Machete Rose.  His next question was “Why do you want a name that sounds like you’re going to chop off my cock?”  When applied to an audience, the answer to his question is that I don’t want your proverbial cock, I want your brain.

To date, I have never stripped to pasties on stage and to some it could be understood that the acts I perform are not ‘burlesque’.  I don’t believe burlesque to be defined by nudity – a big part of it is about the reveal as a method, rather than a prescribed way of taking off clothes.  Anticipation and seduction is still at work here, where a cleverly delivered reveal (when the performer shows their own brand of wit/comedy/intelligence/surprise) is just as sexy as a delicately peeled glove.

Revealing a brain is sexy too. (c) Drawesome Illustration

Don’t forget, everyone that performs is showing way more than just flesh on stage; a performer is so much more than that.  They are revealing their ideas, their sense of humour, their taste in music, their storytelling skills, their dance movements, their costume design – the list goes on.

Not only that but burlesque is so much more than just flesh on stage.  For example, a nod to comedy recognises its roots; stylistically a good burlesque fan could recognise a pin up pose from 1000 paces; with an appreciation of theatre, performers can tell a good story.  The history of burlesque is so rich!

So for me, here is where the fun bit comes in.  When I took to the stage as a solo performer for the first time, my choice of punch line was not dictated by “to be naked or not to be naked?”  The fact that I continually choose an alternative to a pasties reveal is not that I am too nervous to do it; it is that I make an active decision to explore other punch lines.

Experimenting can bring surprising and exciting results. (c) Drawesome Illustration

There is a certain ‘accepted wisdom’ within any genre and it’s with this that you can really play with.  When the audience expect to see something, it’s all the easier to explore using things like misdirection and parody.  Ultimately I’ve found that when you hit them with the unexpected, it makes you bloody memorable.

Check out Machete Rose’s beautiful and expressive illustrations at Drawesome Illustration.

Live like you’re already dead, man. Have a good time. Do your best. Let it all come ripping right through you. – Jeff Bridges

Jeff Bridges

Tiger Tiger discusses the trials and tribulations of social networking.

Networking is an incredibly important part of any industry, especially if you are self employed and self representing. In recent years, networking has grown to include the use of social media – facebook, twitter, LinkedIn and online forums in particular. With the rise in such forms of communication and networking, it is not surprising to find there are a lot of courses and workshops out there for people to learn more about using these mediums as a marketing tool.

Coming from a PR background, I thoroughly recommend these types of workshops, especially if you can find some aimed specifically at your industry – Khandie Khisses and Beatrix von Bourbon both run workshops of these types aimed at burlesque performers and are worth seeking out.

Khandie Khisses

But in lieu of getting to a workshop sometime soon, I wanted to put together a list of simple tips. My main motivation for this is Facebook. I’ve noticed a lot of performers that have friended me in recent months on Facebook are often unwittingly doing themselves a disservice, because the way they are representing themselves online is unappealing to audience members, fellow performers and show bookers and producers.

Be Clear Who You Are

This is really the fundamental basis of representing a public image of yourself, but it can also be the first stumbling block that results in compiling misrepresentations as time goes on. Whether you like it or not, any online presence is representative of you, either as a person or a professional personae.

Ask yourself -

• Are you using social media as yourself or as your performing personae?
  When new performers first activate an online presence it is often as their real identity, or a joint identity with their real life identity. Some people make this work very well, but others find it easier to keep profiles separate. Either way, it is important for you to understand who you are and how you are representing yourself online.

• Who is your performing personae?
  If you are online as you performing personae, have a clear idea of who that is – is it an extension of your real life self, or is it a completely fabricated character? Either way, be consistent and appropriate (see below).

Understand What People Want to See

If you are using any social media as your performance personae, wholly or jointly with your real self, then be aware that this is your PR. This is the extension of yourself as an industry professional, no matter what level of that industry you are in, and as such, it should represent you appropriately.

Tuesday Laveau – Sees with a giant eyeball (c) David Hammonds

There will be three main readership groups and networking targets of your online personae – your audience, fellow performers and show producers/bookers. It is really important to think about how you want to represent yourself to these people, and to a degree, think about what they want to see from you and how that can in turn benefit you.

• Audience – these are the people that might have seen you at a show or have discovered you online, these are the people who pay for the tickets that fund the shows that pay your wages. It is not expected, as with any industry, that this gives them rights and privileges in your life, however, it is appropriate that you treat them with respect and kindness if that is what they have shown you (if they have actually shown you a penis picture in a private message with badly spelt chat up lines you can feel free to call them out on it and block them!).

• Other performers – your colleagues, and likely a combination of those you know in person and those you do not. Either way, it is important to maintain civil and working relationships with these people, as well as giving support and encouragement, for which you will hopefully receive the same in return. Again, treat with the kindness and respect they show you (if they have actually shown you they are a complete asshole who you hope never to work with – be polite, if you can’t be polite be private – don’t let their shitty behaviour reflect badly on you).

• Producers/Bookers – the people who might give you a job. This is probably the most important lesson in keeping things appropriate – understand that many producers might first come across you online, especially if you have replied to an online casting in a social media setting – so consider representing yourself as you would want to come across at a job interview.

Strongly consider having a separate profile for your personal and performance lives – there may be information and images you don’t want people on your personal profile to see, but there may also be things about your life you want to share with friends and family, but not with the 150 strangers you have added who may or may not be other performers, producers or audience members. Plus, should you have the time and opportunity to promote yourself further, a professional profile will always come across better than a personal one and early in your career can act as a reasonable stand in to a website for a while.

Alter Egos

One thing the above groups have in common, is what it is not appropriate for them to see, and things that should arguably be kept for your personal profile, because, remember on a performance personae profile you are representing yourself as a business not an individual. You need to represent how you want to be seen, but also be interesting to keep an online audience – what is going to make someone press the hide button? Consider that what you post may result in someone hiding or unfriending you the day before you post that awesome video of your new act that would have been perfect for the show you didn’t know they were putting on.

Steer Clear of

• Putting out too much personal information about you and your life, especially if you profile is not locked or you accept friends requests from strangers – keep that stuff for your personal profile for your safety and to keep your personae profile tidy.

• Sharing potentially inappropriate images – do you want a bunch of strangers to see your family holiday photos? Be selective about what you put out there, think “do I want them to see this” and “do they want to see this”. Endless images of your new kitten might be equally inappropriate and off putting to some.

• Complaining. We all do it, and sometimes it’s a good thing, but if you can look back and five out of ten of your most recent posts are you bitching about someone, something, your life, then stop. Seriously, stop!

• Bitching. Don’t. Whether full on naming names or just passive aggressive crap, don’t do it. Keep shit like that private and professional. There are acts I haven’t booked because I don’t like the way they come across online – my thoughts being “do I want that person to be backstage at my show?”. It doesn’t matter if someone/something deserves to be bitched about – this is a professional environment, so keep it that way!

• Spreading rumours. Really, don’t! If you have real concerns then pass these on privately, do not be part of rumour mill, especially if you don’t personally know the people involved, which is often the case in big industries such as burlesque.

It may seem like in a way I am advising you to potentially not be yourself, and maybe that is true. Just as you would represent yourself in a certain way for a job interview, or at work as compared to a night out with mates. Use common sense to decide what might or might not be inappropriate.

Absolutely your own personality should come through, but consider before posting anything whether it belongs in your personal profile or performance one, and how you should word it.

Do 

• Be aware of how you are representing yourself – in the images you put up and the words you write – are those photos from 2009 great for showing your humble origins, or do they now just look dated and unprofessional compared that what you have done since? Consider how you want to come across in Cover or Profile photos – if this is the first thing people see, does it grab their attention and express you are a performer?

• Occasionally share things of interest that might not relate to burlesque – this might be one or two personal photos, especially if they relate to something at the time – “Can you believe my hair cut from 2002! So much prefer my Betty look now, lol!”

• Share who you are – this could be thoughts and feelings on things not related to burlesque directly but that you have an interest in, like charities and causes, or perhaps non burlesque events of interest, etc.

• Rant! Yes, you can and should rant – share your disappointment and maybe anger productively, without slipping into bitching and complaining – “So sad that Jo Bloggs had to cancel their show because the venue has had to close! Hope they sort something out, there just aren’t enough good venues in Sopping Gusset! *sad face*” or the just as likely “Argh! So frustrated that my mum keeps saying burlesque isn’t stripping – I do take my clothes of mother!!”

• Promote yourself – don’t ram it down people’s throats, but this is the place for you to market yourself, so make sure your new video is posted, put up those amazing new photos you had shot. Post about the upcoming shows you are excited about!

Going Forward – Consider Perception!

Like it or not, any form of online presence, whether social media or your own website, is a form of marketing yourself to your target industry. You don’t need a professional qualification in marketing to realise what common sense should already inform you – how others perceive you will affect how you are perceived in the industry.

Finally, these aren’t meant as rules, or even guidelines, what works for one person might not work for another. However, I hope it acts as a jumping point for considering your own online representations of yourself, and moreover, brings home the point that whatever you put out there online will reflect on you as an industry professional – good or bad.

Get creative with Ally Katte!

Ally Katte, Bristol based performer and model is bringing a brand new workshop to the Pink Kitten Studio, Creative Makeup for Stage and Photographs.

Ally Katte (c) Angi Wallace

Bring along YOUR makeup bag and Ally will will show you how to create fun new looks with what you already have.

Ally Katte (c) Tim Jones

Tips and tricks with glitter, unusual uses of typical makeup products, how to get the best out of high street products and much more.

Ally Katte (c) Ally Katte

The workshop will take place on February 8th at 4pm

Pink Kitten Dance School

The Old Malt House

Old Market

Bristol

BS2 9EB

Tickets are £7 and available via Pink Kitten Dance School

Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn. They teach you there’s a boundary line to music. But, man, there’s no boundary line to art. – Charlie Parker

Charlie ‘Bird’ Parker

In October last year I was lucky enough to attend a show and workshop featuring one of my idols, Miss Dirty Martini. It cost money and time, and was not at all convenient, but it was an experience of a lifetime and I’m glad I did it. And I’m going to tell you why you should be doing this sort of thing too!

We all bang on quite a bit about getting out to see shows. Because the truth is, once you find yourself performing regularly it can be harder to make it to shows as an audience member. This could be because of time or money constraints, for example, where spare time and money is going into your character and act development.

But the reason we keep talking about it is because it is important. The more you expose yourself to the performance of others the more you’ll grow as a performer yourself. Inspiration plays a part, but also fire lighting. I’m not talking about being inspired by someone’s act and so using parts or all of it in your own act, but certainly look at how other performers perform. It is difficult not to watch Beatrix Von Bourbon and think “How can I move like that”. And so then comes the fire lighting – watching the acts of others can really rock complacency. When you see someone doing something that you wish you could do, whether a movement or a skill, then perhaps it’s time to take your performance to the next step – learn that style, dance or skill and work out how you can develop it into your own style and act.

Harsh but true!?

But another big aspect for me, something that I hadn’t really thought about until attending what was my first show as an audience member (rather than performer or producer) for the most part of a year, was the enjoyment. It’s easy to forget what a show feels like from the point of view of the audience, when really this is something that should be constantly in mind and especially when developing new acts and even more so when producing your own shows.

If you are short on cash and time, then do as I did, save up your pennies to go to a show that you really want to go to – be these some of the more well-known shows across the country, or one that stars a performer you have been particularly keen to see. The show I attended was the Goldust Theatre Of Terror at The Winter Gardens up in Morecambe (a lovely weekend and awesome road trip with fellow Bristol based performer Delilah Di Sgrace), and the main reason was Dirty Martini. But the seal on the deal was the line-up as a whole. Missy Malone and Diva Hollywood are two performers I really admire, and have seen perform live several times but was happy to see them both again. I was really excited to see Leyla Rose perform, as I’ve rarely seen her live but love her style. Also, Velma Von Bon Bon who I have heard so much about but never had chance to see – none of the performers disappointed.

Goldust Theatre Of Terror Cast (c) InaGlo Photography

They were all amazing and we were treated to THREE performances by Dirty Martini. It was mesmerising, and a dream come true to see my idol up there on the stage. Three amazing performances, including a European premier of a new routine. It definitely made the trip worth it!

Dirty Martini’s European premier of her stunning new act! (c) InaGlo Photography

On reflection, being able to attend a show without any of the distractions that come with performing or producing was an education. Both as a performer and promoter it taught me something, and this sort of thing is invaluable.

Likewise with the workshop. It’s been a while since I’ve been to one, again because of time and money, but I do really believe in continually learning and pushing yourself. So again, I wanted to make sure I spent my time and money wisely and attended the workshop of someone I really wanted to meet, learn from and whom I admire as a performer.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the workshop, and it turned out to be a workshop covering the basics. What was interesting to me and a reflection of Dirty’s experience is that it still delivered. It’s been a while since I would have considered attending a basic workshop (the same is possibly true of several other attendees), but what was important here was the imparting of experienced wisdom. Although some of the stuff Dirty was telling us, I had already heard and have a good grasp of, it was the context that was important. Obviously, it was exciting and wonderful to meet Dirty, and she made the workshop a really fab experience, she has great knowledge of the industry and shares it generously.

The stunning Dirty Martini – (c) InaGlo

We spent much of the workshop learning how to walk on stage, which sounds basic and was certainly something I had covered before. However, this was far from it – for one thing we were actually on a stage, which allowed us to really immerse ourselves in the lesson being taught. Moreover, unlike any previous workshops I have taken on the matter, Dirty put it into a different, much more experienced context.

When I first took classes back at the beginning of my burlesque journey, we spent weeks on “walking”, it was mind numbing, and really of no interest to me at all, as it felt like it belonged to the sort of Classical style routine I would never perform. But when Dirty broke it down for us she explained not just the how, in greater detail, but the why. The actual logic and in a sense, science behind the walk – where to walk from, how to present yourself whilst walking, and how to finish it off with a pose – the lesson was not actually how to walk, but how to use that walk to engage the audience. It made me realise that in some form or another there is a place in even non-classical routines for an contact moment like this, whether a walk or something similar. It is something I can see I already do in a number of my acts, less so in others because it didn’t seem to fit. But now I will look again at those acts and whether they need something like this slotted in.

Tiger Tiger with Dirty Martini after the workshop

It does go to show that even a back to basics workshop with the right person can teach you something regardless of how long you have been performing. Which highlights that point that we should all continually be refreshing our skills and techniques by attending workshops. Sometimes it is easier said than done – back to the time and money constraints – but that just underlines the fact that we should all exploit these opportunities when they come along.

From Dirty with love – now up on my studio wall for inspiration!

As part of the Bristol Burlesque Festival in October 2013 we put some of our performers in touch with our friends at the Pink Kitten Dance School in order for them to share their skills, knowledge and wisdom. The workshops worked well and we were so excited to have the likes of Diva Hollywood and Khandie Khisses make themselves available to our Festival audience (and beyond). From our experiences there and both mine and Tuesday’s own personal experiences with workshops (mine with Dirty and the apparently amazing workshop that both Tuesday and Ally Katte attended with Matt Fraser and Julie Atlas Muz when they were in Bristol with their Beauty and the Beast stage show), Tuesday and I are keen to have even more workshops at the 2014 Festival. We want to ensure that the Festival isn’t just about showcasing the talents of performers with that Bristol feel, but also creating access to workshops from which local performers can really take the opportunity to workshop with some amazing talent.

Find out about local workshops from Pink Kitten Dance School HERE! Including Ally Katte’s upcoming Make-up Workshop
Find out more about Dirty Martini HERE!
Photos by InaGlo Photography

Dance is the movement of the universe concentrated in an individual. – Isadora Duncan

Isadora Duncan